For a little BIG lady!!!

There's this little lady that I miss so much...
She's funny and sweet.... and her smile lights up a room....
She's adorable and cute.... it always makes me happy when I see her...
Her wonderful company I readily enjoy.... for she hardly complains and is always encouraging
People tend to think she's goth... but she really isn't.. she's just somewhat odd and does things quite different....
She loves and lives, smiles and gives... She's short and small and quiet and calm...
I'm talking about the nicest girl I haven't seen for so long....
There's definitely no one in the whole world quite like this one....
I so miss her smile... her hugs and I love you's...
She's always ready to be the friend that's needed....
And this isn't a rhyme, ditty or poem...
Just a post about how much I love this special woman...
The fun we've always had, the memories we've shared.. the photos we've took... the laugh and tears and cigarettes we've smoked... I love you my beautiful....
You're the craziest, smallest yet biggest lady I've ever met
I love you like crazy and miss seeing you every day...
Always ready to greet me no matter what your mood was that day...
Weather happy or sad... joyous or angry... laughing or moody you always made my day....
I love you my beautiful Mwia there's no one at all quite like you! Smoochiess!

I still liveth!!!

wowwwww.. longggg timee... well not much out of the usual every day life happens that much to me... I had gotten into a car accident.... I fixed my car.... I work alll week... and off the weekend... sat and sun... I've got great friends... I'll be going soon for a vacation with some of my girlfriends to Miami... excited as.. heaven about that!! and life has been good... the usual afflictions can get me down... little things to try and get u to give up... but it's all part of life... and it's just takin one day at a time to keep going and not give up....
I've been trying to keep up a positive attitude around people.... something I never really was good at... but I think I've been doin pretty good..... thank God! It's definitely helpful to be happy even when shit is happening... makes a huge difference...
Weirdly enough today when checking my mail I received a letter informing me that they got my request for XD and now I can start taking the online courses... hmm... I haven't thot about xd much since my last one.... haven't sent in a request letter.... hadn't known there was going to be another one... well when the next one was.. so it's quite interesting.. hmmm... anyhowwww
Here's some pics since I haven't loaded any up here in a while.. of me.. chillin with fam and friends... more will come soon.. I'm having a busy busy day at work and must be off... Cheers!!!

urrggg

bad bad luck seems to be following me... in horrible quantities.. and I'm not sure who exactly stole it.. but I WANT IT BACK!!! NOW!!!!!!! so not kewl.. thieving boggers!!! ooshh....
and here's the most annoying part of my job.. the bloody annoying PHONE CALLS!!! jesumcranny... bloody annoying.. the whole lot of them... STOP CUSSING ME OUT.. I'm not a sales person.. damn bastards!!! yes i'm frustrated and mad... freaking mad... this is another thing that pisses me off...
Caller: rambling off in spanish..
me: sorry sir, I don't speak spanish...
caller: no speaky spanish?
me: no, sorry...
Caller: rambles some more in spanish...
me: (idiot) Sir, I don't speak spanish I'm sorry.

like seriously... i just bloody said... I DON"T SPEAK IN DAMN SPANISH!!!!! get the dang point!!!
ahhh.. I loveee my jobbb!!!

bad moods grrrrrrrrrr....

I never understood.. why whenever there's a fish tank people always go up to it and bang on the glass? It bothers the freakin crap out of me... the poor pathetic fish... I would be freakin pissed if someone did that to me... probably sounds damn loud and is annoying... pathetic!!! ooshh... but I do wish I was a fish... would have a short memory.. would make it to one side of the tank.. only to forget and go the other way.. and repeatt!!! lucky bastards don't have to drive stupid cars... that crash.. or have to pay money for car wrecks...
YES I'M VENTING!!! I'm got into my first car crash.. AND MY BABY LOOKS LIKE SHIT!!! Stupid freakin drivers... !!! I'M MAD!!!!
oshhhh grrrr.. arggg!!! and people are being rediculous and childish and pathetic at work... NOT HELLPINGGG!! and to top it off.. I HATE 1st of July.. WORST DAY IN THE WORLD!!! Always get such bad luck... I should just cease to exist... no.. the stupid day should cease to exist! arggg!!! And this day has always been my bad luck day... nothin good ever happens on this day... I HATE IT!!!
And no that's not the only reason I'm a grouch.. tho it is a biggy.. I hate it.. now I have a car crash on my freakin history.. but no.. I miss my bro.. it's been like 9 years... and it still seems like yesterday... Miss and love you bro.. hope u always know that!!

Blahhhh

I have come to not looking forward to cooking and eating.. why... because it's gonna be the same.. either some damn chicken or freakin tuna... I really really dispise those two.. and for those of u that know me.. I can't freakin eat the same thing over and over and over in a row... it drives me mad.. and now i hate those two things.. the taste makes me sick.. blahhh!!! I'm so craving some good mediterranean food... ughh anything but this.... blahnesss!!! so I just thot I should say that.. cause I felt like it....
And cause the sloshy wants me to write something.. I have pics.. well some.. that I haven't yet posted... but oosh I am lazy... and the amount of time that is consumed by tryin to upload them bothers me... urgg!!! but yess.. I shall find time tonight to post...
There's nothin I dislike more... than having to work with stupid people... no no.. seriously these people are damnnn stupid.. they don't know how to read instructions to figure out how to take paper that got jammed out of the scanner... nothin more annoying... its priceless
anyhoww... so on to some other news... hmm... been doin modeling work... nothin to overly grand tho I have a friend at the galleria that's wanting me and maybe kerri to model for his clothing line.. it's pretty good and I went last week to check it out and see how it is.. and I think I'll do it.. looked like a lot of fun!!!
urgg people are now throwing fits.. I must run... cheers pple.. will try tonight to post pics..

I won't party like it is....

Ever since I was young I hated people singing me Happy Birthday to me. I hated how utterly embarressing it is to be standing on a chair while the household of 30 odd people sang where they're all singing in that off pitched way.....GADDSS!!!! I always used to burst out crying. Theeeee absooluteeee worst thing you could do to an overly shy kid.... and well it seems that I'm still the same. I hate being the focus of attention from people. Previously I had been able to grab a random baby from their parents while I was sung to... made it seem like it's not all on me... but unfortunately.. no random babies this year I can grab...
Hopefully people will just not sing for me.. Goshhh!! The horror... ughh~~~
Anyhow.... ughhh I'm OLD!!! Damn I dislike this.. ONly a retard now looks forward to their bday's... Or a child... Well everything is better as a child.... esp birthdays... so anyways.. yepp bdays were quite the nightmare.. NAd yep they still are.. Blahhh! I think I'll just skip my bday this eyar.... Remain 22... let my younger baby siblings catch up and pass me on by... Damn wish that would freakin work! I Shall find a way to beat gettin older! So all that to say... It's that Blasted day!! YAY!!!
At least most everyone I know and work with have horribly memories... and have pretty much forgotten it's today....

On a later side note... my work didn't forget... they all slowly started wishing me a happy birthday and telling me that they're gonna all gather up by my desk and sing happy bday... oh Lorddd!!! The horror!!!!

A crazy rant!!!

I was watching a documentary last night about what attracts people to each other... boy it's a freakin load of shit that makes two pple match up.... Looks, personality, smell, sound of their voice, walk, something havin to do with ur spine..etc etc... it was goin into some weird ass stuff.... but anyhow.. it was interesting.. and i realised.. oh boy!! I'm weird... not like I didn't know buttt... for me.. my main thing is personaility and the eyes... eyes are such a big thing for me... and then personality.. sure looks, features etc have a part to do with it... buttt I'm more lenient to that then to personality and eyes... like kerri... her's is more looks... I swear we are so freakin different me and kerri.. she likes baby looks.. I like chisled manlier... kinna thing thing.. yeaa.. I have been known to date baby faced guys... whatever... like I said... I am more lenient with that... tho one guy has a horribly mean... personality.. well.. some times... anyhowwwww...
I've come to realise that gettin with someone is more complicated that I had origionally thot it would be... and relationships I've realised as well.. ARE FREAKIN TOUGH!!!! I definitely will say that... NO.. actually they can be pretty damn easy.. IF SOME PEOPLE WOULD STOP BEING ASSHOLEESS!!!! Yep my small anger and frustration bursts... being let out...
Of course I have the best... and greatest times for tryin to vent... like.. yep.. work.. where I'm clacking maddly at the stupid keyboard... while people are staring at me like I'm a crazy sycho person... Well yes I have many frustrations and right now I probably am a little crazy... NO.. I'm freakin frustrated.... mainly at a specific male... well no.. at guys in general.. most of them... some of them.. the annoying ones.. but THIS GUY IN PARTICULAR!!!! who freakin confuses the crapp out of me!!! Yep basically it's the same as always... and basically as annoying as ever.... I just don't think I was cut out for the whole relationship/retarded... emotional shitttt.. involved in it.. especially with this special turd nugget!!! Maybe it's me.. maybe just the people I'm attracted to.. yeepp.. that's the case with this one... IT BLOWWSS!!!!
... Anyhoww... This documentary was very interesting... but it made me wonder about this relationship with this guy I have. so yepp... I'm a thoroughly confused individual... I love him.. he loves me.. he makes me so angry.. i make him freakin angry.. we fight we argue.. we make up.. we ooshh.. it's yeaa.. it's just the biggest freakin roller coster.. and now I'm wonderin.. WTF!!!! what's making us act that way.. So yes.. I am annoyed and frustrated of not being able to understand.. I want to go to the gym.. and work all this annoyance off... and people wonder why I'm at the gym roughly 4 hrs a day!!! OSHHH!!! There's no better more productive way to get the frustrations out.. while getting into shape....
And these people here at work are driving me insane... they're acting like IDIOTS!!!! lordy... Okay gonna go find someone to growl at... I shall marry that annoyingly frustrating individual... Bwahhahaa! Poor bugger.. won't know what hit him!!! Revenge is sweettt! Oh.. that documentary was freaking interesting... and kewl... Ya.. and I am weird!