I won't party like it is....

Ever since I was young I hated people singing me Happy Birthday to me. I hated how utterly embarressing it is to be standing on a chair while the household of 30 odd people sang where they're all singing in that off pitched way.....GADDSS!!!! I always used to burst out crying. Theeeee absooluteeee worst thing you could do to an overly shy kid.... and well it seems that I'm still the same. I hate being the focus of attention from people. Previously I had been able to grab a random baby from their parents while I was sung to... made it seem like it's not all on me... but unfortunately.. no random babies this year I can grab...
Hopefully people will just not sing for me.. Goshhh!! The horror... ughh~~~
Anyhow.... ughhh I'm OLD!!! Damn I dislike this.. ONly a retard now looks forward to their bday's... Or a child... Well everything is better as a child.... esp birthdays... so anyways.. yepp bdays were quite the nightmare.. NAd yep they still are.. Blahhh! I think I'll just skip my bday this eyar.... Remain 22... let my younger baby siblings catch up and pass me on by... Damn wish that would freakin work! I Shall find a way to beat gettin older! So all that to say... It's that Blasted day!! YAY!!!
At least most everyone I know and work with have horribly memories... and have pretty much forgotten it's today....

On a later side note... my work didn't forget... they all slowly started wishing me a happy birthday and telling me that they're gonna all gather up by my desk and sing happy bday... oh Lorddd!!! The horror!!!!

A crazy rant!!!

I was watching a documentary last night about what attracts people to each other... boy it's a freakin load of shit that makes two pple match up.... Looks, personality, smell, sound of their voice, walk, something havin to do with ur spine..etc etc... it was goin into some weird ass stuff.... but anyhow.. it was interesting.. and i realised.. oh boy!! I'm weird... not like I didn't know buttt... for me.. my main thing is personaility and the eyes... eyes are such a big thing for me... and then personality.. sure looks, features etc have a part to do with it... buttt I'm more lenient to that then to personality and eyes... like kerri... her's is more looks... I swear we are so freakin different me and kerri.. she likes baby looks.. I like chisled manlier... kinna thing thing.. yeaa.. I have been known to date baby faced guys... whatever... like I said... I am more lenient with that... tho one guy has a horribly mean... personality.. well.. some times... anyhowwwww...
I've come to realise that gettin with someone is more complicated that I had origionally thot it would be... and relationships I've realised as well.. ARE FREAKIN TOUGH!!!! I definitely will say that... NO.. actually they can be pretty damn easy.. IF SOME PEOPLE WOULD STOP BEING ASSHOLEESS!!!! Yep my small anger and frustration bursts... being let out...
Of course I have the best... and greatest times for tryin to vent... like.. yep.. work.. where I'm clacking maddly at the stupid keyboard... while people are staring at me like I'm a crazy sycho person... Well yes I have many frustrations and right now I probably am a little crazy... NO.. I'm freakin frustrated.... mainly at a specific male... well no.. at guys in general.. most of them... some of them.. the annoying ones.. but THIS GUY IN PARTICULAR!!!! who freakin confuses the crapp out of me!!! Yep basically it's the same as always... and basically as annoying as ever.... I just don't think I was cut out for the whole relationship/retarded... emotional shitttt.. involved in it.. especially with this special turd nugget!!! Maybe it's me.. maybe just the people I'm attracted to.. yeepp.. that's the case with this one... IT BLOWWSS!!!!
... Anyhoww... This documentary was very interesting... but it made me wonder about this relationship with this guy I have. so yepp... I'm a thoroughly confused individual... I love him.. he loves me.. he makes me so angry.. i make him freakin angry.. we fight we argue.. we make up.. we ooshh.. it's yeaa.. it's just the biggest freakin roller coster.. and now I'm wonderin.. WTF!!!! what's making us act that way.. So yes.. I am annoyed and frustrated of not being able to understand.. I want to go to the gym.. and work all this annoyance off... and people wonder why I'm at the gym roughly 4 hrs a day!!! OSHHH!!! There's no better more productive way to get the frustrations out.. while getting into shape....
And these people here at work are driving me insane... they're acting like IDIOTS!!!! lordy... Okay gonna go find someone to growl at... I shall marry that annoyingly frustrating individual... Bwahhahaa! Poor bugger.. won't know what hit him!!! Revenge is sweettt! Oh.. that documentary was freaking interesting... and kewl... Ya.. and I am weird!